Northern Wind – Romano X Reader songfic
Lovino loved the way you would bury your head in the crook of his neck when it was winter. The way your fingers traced up his spine slowly, sending cold shivers through his body. How he could feel your lips moving against his soft skin, whispering inaudible sweet nothings to him.
Lovino would wrap his arms around you, pulling you in closer. He would listen to your heartbeat, wanting his own to be in sync with yours. In that moment, the chilly winds didn't bother him, and he was at peace.
He would pull away, only for a second, to stare into your loving eyes. His hand would find its way to yours, and your fingers would become intertwined.
But right now his hands pulled at his hair in frustration. He let out choked sobs, and tears rolled down his flushed cheeks.
Your smile flooded his thoughts and your gentle laugh pounded in his head. His chest ached and he stumbled into the bathroom, draping his arms over the toilet. He felt so incredibly sick.
"[Name]," he wailed between hiccups. "[Name] I'm so sorry! It's all my fault."
Lovino was a walking rain cloud. His mood was always sour, but that never bothered you. He was always sweet to you, and no matter who he snapped at you could always calm him down with soft coos and a tender voice. That's what he loved most about you.
You never got angry at him for being himself. You were never condescending and only compassionate. Even at times when he felt he could not get any more pathetic, you were there.
Lovino felt like he didn't deserve you.
He was afraid you were going to leave him. No matter how many times you whispered that you loved him when you fell asleep together, or how many times you said it when he was awake, he was terrified.
You were his everything. His days, his months, his years, his sun, his moon, his stars, and his seasons. Without you he was incomplete. He needed you.
His emotions of passion turned to mad jealousy.
A plethora of accusing questions came your way: Where were you? What were you doing? Why were you with him? Do you love him more than me?
Is this what you want?
Do you want to leave me . . .?
Question after question you answered only with "I love you"'s or "I would never do that"s. It was true. You lived for Lovino, and it made you so upset he didn't see that. He was only blinded by his raging emotions.
He was smothering you, making you feel like he didn't trust you. Why was he doing this? He even accused you of liking his brother more than him.
You couldn't take it, it was tearing you apart. You adored him, but it hurt you so much to be with him.
Lovino shrieked loudly as he remembered the day you left. He had slumped back from the toilet, his knees pressed tightly against his chest. He tried to breathe normally but ended up sucking in air between breathy gasps, and his lip quivered without stop.
He remembered the sadness in your face, the way you fidgeted around, shifting from foot to foot. The way your voice trembled and the way your hands linked with each other nervously.
He remembered it all.
The memories flooded in, making him claw at his arms as he wrapped them tighter around himself.
"[Name]," he called, opening the door to the small house you both shared. That day, the sun was bright and it smelled like tomatoes and your sweet perfume.
You were on the couch, sitting and waiting patiently for him. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry in front of him. You would leave quickly and spare him.
"L. . . Lovino," you whispered. "We need to talk."
You looked into his eyes, and at that exact moment he knew. His knees grew weak and he had to hold the wall for support.
He couldn't even process the words you had said to him. It felt like his world was crashing down on him, leaving him speechless.
And with one last kiss, one last sweet, lingering kiss, you were gone.
All that was left now was a crumpled mess of defeat, bawling in a bathroom over a girl he loved so much.
He wanted you back so desperately. He hated himself so much for hurting you. He couldn't handle it.
His head slinked between his knees, and he sighed deeply.
Oh my Love, you don't know what you do to me.
If I could just find you tonight.